Legal parenthood in Europe: a country-by-country guide

In 1989, Denmark became the first country in the world to legalise same-sex partnerships. More than 35 years later, there is still no unified European standard for same-sex parents. Each country decides for itself — and the answers vary enormously. For a same-sex couple with a child, this has real consequences: crossing a border can change their legal status. A child with two legal parents in one country may, in another, find themselves with one — or in outright legal limbo. This article isn’t legal advice. It’s a map of how the law currently works across key European countries, across four dimensions: recognition at birth, joint adoption, donor conception, and surrogacy. Four questions to ask first Before the table, it’s worth understanding what each category actually means in practice. 1. Recognition at birth When a parent has a biological connection to the child, getting their name on the birth certificate is straightforward. But what about the second parent? In some countries, a same-sex partner is automatically recognised as a parent at birth if the couple is married. In others, a separate legal application is required. In others still, the only route is formal adoption. This gap matters: in the window between the child’s birth and the completion of paperwork, the second parent legally doesn’t exist. If something happened to the first parent during that period, the child could be left without a legal guardian. 2. Joint adoption This refers to a couple’s right to adopt a child together — from a domestic care system or internationally — as a couple, rather than as a single applicant. In some countries, same-sex couples can adopt jointly. In others, one partner adopts as a single person, and the other has no parental status at all. 3. Donor conception Two things matter here: whether donor conception is legally available to same-sex couples at all, and how parenthood is established. For female couples using donor sperm, the key question is whether the co-mother is automatically recognised. For male couples using donor eggs, it’s about how fatherhood is legally established. 4. Surrogacy The most complex and inconsistent category. Most EU countries either prohibit surrogacy outright or leave it entirely unregulated. Where it is permitted, it’s typically altruistic only — no commercial arrangements. And who counts as the legal mother — the surrogate or the intended mother — is answered differently in each country. 12 countries, 4 categories ✓ available / ✗ prohibited or not accessible / △ partial or restricted. Data as of early 2025. Laws change — consult a qualified lawyer in the relevant jurisdiction before making any decisions. Three stories about the same thing Behind these tables are real situations. Here are three scenarios that show what the legal differences actually look like on the ground. Spain: Europe's most permissive framework Spain legalised same-sex marriage in 2005 — among the first countries in the world to do so. Since then, legal parenthood for same-sex couples has been brought as close as possible to what’s available to heterosexual couples. Both mothers are registered on the birth certificate automatically when donor sperm is used at a licensed clinic — no extra procedure required. Joint adoption is available. Donor conception programmes are open to same-sex couples. The one significant gap is surrogacy. Commercial surrogacy is prohibited. Couples who have used surrogacy abroad — in countries like Ukraine or Greece — frequently run into difficulties registering their children in Spain; courts have consistently declined to recognise such arrangements. Germany: automaticity only for biological ties Germany legalised same-sex marriage in 2017, but the legal system hasn’t fully caught up. A second parent in a same-sex couple — whether a co-mother or co-father — does not receive automatic parental status at birth. The only path is step-parent adoption: an application, a review by the youth welfare office, and a court decision. The process can take anywhere from several months to a year and a half. During that time, the second parent has no right to make medical decisions for the child, is not their legal heir, and cannot take the child abroad unilaterally. A reform intended to fix this has been under discussion since 2023, but as of early 2025, it has not been passed. United Kingdom: surrogacy through the courts The UK permits altruistic surrogacy and is one of the few European countries where male same-sex couples can become parents through a surrogate. But ‘permitted’ doesn’t mean ‘simple’. Under British law, the surrogate is the legal mother of the child until a court says otherwise. The intended parents must apply for a Parental Order — a specific judicial ruling transferring parenthood. Without it, they have no parental status, even if one of them is the biological father. The process typically takes several months and requires legal representation. The surrogate must give her consent after the birth — consent given in advance has no legal force. If she changes her mind, the situation becomes extremely complicated. The European Court of Human Rights has repeatedly held that states must ensure legal recognition of parent-child relationships established abroad, in the best interests of the child. But how that principle is implemented is left to each country. What to do with this information If you’re planning a family and living in Europe — or planning a move — here are some practical takeaways: Check the rules in your country of residence. Laws change. What was true three years ago may no longer apply — in either direction. Being married gives you more rights in almost every European jurisdiction. Civil partnership and marriage are legally distinct in many countries. Clarify the process for the second parent. Even where everything is supposedly ‘automatic’, make sure that’s actually true for your specific method of conception. If you’re using surrogacy abroad, consult a lawyer in your home country about how parenthood will be recognised when you return — before starting the process, not after. Apostille and certified translation of the birth certificate is standard procedure if the child is born in another country. But document requirements vary. Why this matters right now In 2023, the Court of Justice of the European Union ruled that EU member states are obliged to recognise parenthood established in another member state for the purposes of freedom of movement. This is a significant step — but not a universal fix. It applies to specific circumstances and does not override national laws on civil registration. In other words: Europe is moving towards greater consistency, but slowly and unevenly. The differences between countries remain vast — and knowing them in advance is far better than running into them at the worst possible moment. This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Laws change — consult a qualified family lawyer in the relevant jurisdiction before making decisions related to parenthood and reproductive rights.