Finding a co-parent in another country is possible. Arranging everything legally so that both parents have rights over the child is more complex. Here is what needs to be thought through before conception.
Co-parenting platforms recognise no borders. A person in London finds a partner in Berlin. A woman in Tel Aviv makes an arrangement with a man from Amsterdam. A man from Paris and a woman from Warsaw decide to raise a child together while living in different countries. This is happening — and happening with increasing frequency. International co-parenting platforms, including Mapasgen, connect people across borders as easily as across the street.
The problem is that the legal system has not kept pace with this reality. A child born from international co-parenting inevitably falls at the intersection of at least two legal systems — and that intersection can produce serious conflicts. Not because people are doing anything illegal, but because legislators in different countries developed their norms independently, without imagining this scenario.
When co-parenting involves citizens of different countries, several fundamental principles of private international law come into play. The principle of nationality (lex patriae): in some countries — Germany, Italy and others — a person's legal status and family relationships are determined by the law of their country of citizenship. This means a German citizen who becomes a co-parent in Spain retains German legal status, and German rules on paternity apply to them even when the arrangement is made abroad. The principle of domicile (lex domicilii): in other countries — the UK, USA, Australia — the key factor is the place of permanent residence. British law applies to a British resident regardless of citizenship. The principle of the child's country of birth: the country where the child is born establishes the initial legal status — who the parents are, what citizenship the child receives. This is the starting point, but it does not determine everything.
Establishing parenthood. Who is the legal parent of the child — and under which country's law is this determined? In some countries, establishment of paternity (or second maternity) is automatic at birth within a marriage or registered partnership. In others, it requires a separate legal act: recognition of paternity, a court ruling or adoption. For co-parents without a romantic relationship, this question is particularly critical: the status of 'co-parent' as a legal category simply does not exist almost anywhere.
The child's citizenship. A child born to parents with different citizenships may be entitled to dual or even triple nationality. This is a valuable advantage — but requires legal formalisation in both countries. Some countries permit dual nationality without restriction (Israel, the UK, France). Others require renunciation of prior citizenship (Germany — with exceptions, Austria — with exceptions). This must be clarified before the child is born.
The child's place of residence and international custody. If co-parents live in different countries, the child cannot physically live in both simultaneously. A clear arrangement is needed for which country the child lives in permanently, how visits are structured, and how border crossings are handled. International travel with a child without the consent of the second parent may constitute abduction under the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction (1980). This is not empty formalism: cases where co-parenting conflicts have become international legal disputes are not rare.
Maintenance. If co-parents live in different countries and one defaults on financial obligations, cross-border enforcement of maintenance is a separate legal challenge. The UN Convention on the Recovery Abroad of Maintenance (1956) and the Hague Maintenance Convention (2007) create international mechanisms, but their effectiveness varies across specific countries.
Inheritance. If one co-parent dies — what are the child's inheritance rights in that parent's country? Is the child legally recognised there? This is a question almost no one thinks about in advance — and one that can have serious consequences.
If conception occurs via ART, the question arises: in which country's clinic? This is not only a medical decision but a legal one. The country where the procedure is performed can affect how the genetic material's provenance is documented and who is listed as parents in the medical records. These documents are subsequently used in establishing parenthood. Many international co-parents choose a clinic in a third country — Spain or Denmark, for example — precisely because the legislation there most clearly regulates the rights of all parties involved.
A standard co-parenting agreement signed in one country is not necessarily recognised in another. This is a fundamental point. There are several approaches to making an agreement as 'internationally robust' as possible. First: draft the agreement under the law of the country where the child will live — the most logical approach, since that is the law that will apply in any disputes. Second: draft parallel agreements in both countries, align them and have them notarised in both jurisdictions. Third: use international arbitration as the agreed dispute resolution mechanism. All three require lawyers in both countries.
Steps that international family law specialists recommend taking before the process begins:
International co-parenting is a reality of our time. It is possible, it is practised, and it often works well. But it requires substantially more legal preparation than domestic co-parenting. The earlier this preparation begins, the better. Legal problems arising after the child's birth are harder, slower and more expensive to resolve than those anticipated in advance. That is not a reason to avoid international co-parenting. It is a reason to approach it with full awareness.